5 Simple Ways To Figure Out If a Person Is Toxic
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No one wants to be around a person who makes you feel bad about yourself; such “toxic” people can confuse us, however, as they can come off as being fun and charming, because they have honed their skills at being manipulative.
They are very good at disguising their toxicity by camouflaging their damaging behavior by being interesting, helpful and fun. So the question becomes, how can you spot the warning signs of toxicity, before it impacts your happiness and self-esteem?
Whether you are dating a person, or you have a growing friendship, look out for these RED-FLAG TOXIC BEHAVIORS:
1. SHE IS A BLAMER.
You notice when she talks about conflicts with other friends, or issues at work, she never sees her part in the problem. If you ask anything that might promote her reflecting on what she said or did, she will always come up with “yes but…”. As conflicts come up between the two of you and you try to address the issue, THE BLAMER will become hostile and manipulate you into believing that you are the problem.
2. HE SHOWS DISRESPECT TO PEOPLE IN SERVICE ROLES.
You go out to dinner and he talks to the server in a tone that denotes superiority. He tends to break minor rules, acting as if they don’t matter and only apply to other people; cleaning up after himself isn’t his job and turning off his cell-phone in a movie theater is ridiculous…he can’t miss messages even if it disturbs others. This is a red flag that he will likely treat your needs and feelings with disregard.
3. SHE TALKS INCESSANTLY ABOUT HERSELF AND HER ACHIEVEMENTS.
If you feel like you can’t get a word in, you are in a relationship with a NARCISSIST! When you try to share things about yourself, she will interrupt by saying something that makes you feel she is identifying with you, and bring the conversation back to herself.
If you stay in this relationship, over time you might have some major life success. The toxic person will be uncomfortable with your success, because it makes them feel insecure and competitive. You may find that they minimize your achievement, brush it off, or say something that makes you doubt your success by pointing out the negatives. Your success means you need her less.
4. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS.
Anytime you want to discuss your feelings about something, that involves even the most mild conflict, he reacts as if he is being attacked. He becomes defensive and aggressive, making any kind of conflict resolution impossible. He turns everything around and eventually breaks your resolve, and then will quite unexpectedly show you love or affection. He feels safe being close to you when you are weak.
5. WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION THEY BECOME HOSTILE.
Other people’s glory makes her feel jealous, as exhibited by gossiping behavior that attempts to inflict damage to the other person’s reputation or friendships. They suck the air out of the room because their needs must be met above everyone else’s.
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6 Signs and Behaviors You Might Be With a Guy Who Is an Emotional Psychopath.
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Falling in love sounds like it’s so effortless and gentle, yet oftentimes it turns out to be the complete opposite of that. When it comes down to it, love and intimate relationships are never quite as easy as anyone wishes them to be. We’ve all dated people who were just our type and the same goes for those who were simply no good for us. Sometimes we knew right from the start that they weren’t the one, yet we stuck with them anyways!
However, the most painful relationship situation you could ever get into is ending up with an emotional psychopath. At first they’re deceptively charming and sweet, they have all the right moves and know exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet.
But over time they become less normal and less innocent, instead they twist words and situations to fit their selfish needs and you end up suffering because of it. As much as you may try to justify or rationalize their behavior, it is never okay and never will be.
Rather than live in denial or lie to yourself that everything is great and will work out in the end, you need to face the facts and dump the psychopath. That nagging feeling at the back of your mind is trying to tell you to get out of the relationship NOW, and you need to listen to it and move on!
Don’t ignore the obvious warning signs that you’re in a relationship that’s bound to fail with a manipulator who’s hurting you. Here are the clearest signs that indicate you are dating an emotional psychopath:
1. He Lies Endlessly In Order To Hurt Your Self-esteem And Bring You Down. Serial pathological lying is an emotional psychopath’s favorite way to get into your head and under your skin. They will distort the truth about any and everything under the sun.
Whether it involves making up small, insignificant details or coming up with major stories that are outright lies, they do it to throw you off and make you doubt your own self. He controls the narrative and in turn controls you.
The constant betrayal of trust shows a total lack of respect and is completely unacceptable in any relationship so if your significant other is always twisting the truth, get away from them fast because they will never change!
2. He Isolates You From Friends And Family To The Point You Have No One To Turn To For Help. When you give up other relationships and cut back severely on the time you spend with other people, you eventually end up alone. That’s exactly where emotional psychopaths want you, weak and dependent on them.
Not being able to ask a loved one for help means he has broken you to the point where you rely solely upon him and he is in control. Don’t let it get to this point, always reach out regardless of how alone you may feel, and stay away from anyone who tries to control your personal social life.
3. When Things Don’t Go His Way Or As He Expected, He Blames You. Emotionally abusive psychopaths are rarely as successful or important as they aspire to be in life. The way they try to abuse and manipulate people often ends up coming back to haunt them and as some people like to say, ‘karma’s a b****.’
However, when you are dating someone like this, they blame you for their shortcomings. All those unfulfilled dreams and chances that passed them by are your fault. He’ll say he gave them up or settled for less because of you, no matter what the truth may really be, and it’s all to make you feel bad and stay with him out of guilt.
4. When The Relationship Is Not Going Well, He Blames It Solely On You. When just about anything goes wrong in your relationship, he ends up saying that it’s all your fault, no matter how responsible he may be. By constantly discounting you and placing all of the blame on your shoulders, he’s trying to make you feel terrible and guilty about it.
Eventually you begin to actually feel that it is all your fault and that’s when he has you trapped. You’re giving him all the power when you stay with someone who negatively controls and manipulates your feelings in this type of way.
5. He Puts You Down Any Chance He Can Get To Make You Feel Bad. When someone is forever putting you down or judging you and the choices you make, it’s enough to make anyone feel miserable and negative about their own self worth. By belittling you and making incessant comments he’s breaking you down and making you feel defeated.
This type of behavior can quickly spiral out of control and become abusive and manipulative. When you no longer feel happy or respected because of his actions or words, you need to end things because he clearly doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.
6. He Is Always Unemotional. Most men will initially put on a tough guy act whenever they meet someone new and they do this because they want to look strong and masculine. For some, it’s part of their nature. However, if the guy you are with never eventually opens up or shows his emotions, it may be due to the fact that he is an emotional psychopath who is incapable of experiencing normal, natural feelings.
If he’s always distant and cold, then it will be impossible to ever connect with him on that deeper level. Being vulnerable and emotionally available is a crucial part of love and commitment, so if he’s a blank slate, it’s time to move on.
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6 Things You Can Do To Deal With Family Members Who Are Very Toxic.
Toxic people are best to be left alone and avoided. Sometimes that’s hard to do as it may be the case that you either work with someone or have family members who are toxic. They are the type of individuals who make life difficult and have a stressful, draining, and overall negative effect on us. Whether they are hyper-critical, jealous, overbearing, needy, manipulative, or full of unnecessary drama, their behavior makes us feel bad and can end up wreaking havoc on our emotional and mental well-being.
Thankfully there are some things that you can do and keep in mind to help with having to deal with a toxic family member. If you cannot escape or distance yourself far enough from them, then the following information will at the very least alleviate the situation.
1. Don’t take anyone’s toxic behavior to heart. Oftentimes toxic people, especially family members, will try to place the blame on you for something in an attempt to justify their behavior or get what they want. When you take it personally and end up feeling guilty, then you’ve fallen into their trap. If they get away with it once, they’ll likely keep doing it over and over, so put a halt to it. Instead of taking things personally remind yourself that it’s not you, it’s them, and let go of any guilt or blame and stand up for yourself.
2. Let them know that their toxic behavior is unacceptable. Many people make the mistake of ignoring a family member’s toxic behavior or they act like nothing is wrong when that’s clearly not the case. We often do this to avoid confrontations and it’s easier to give into a toxic person than to fight them on things. Pretending everything is OK might make you think it will stop their behavior but it only increases and makes it worse in the long run. They’ll see it as a sign that what they’re doing is right or you’re okay with it, they may even view your pretend ignorance as a weakness and try to further exploit it. Put your foot down and stop giving in to their emotional manipulation, you’re basically rewarding them every time you do so. Call them out and tell them their behavior is not OK.
3. They probably are not truly bad people, remember they’re just bad for us. Many toxic family members mean well and really do care, it’s just that they have a way of going through life that forces us to accommodate them. We settle for less in order to put their wants, needs and desires first, and in doing so we end up compromising our own happiness. Know that they do care, but keep a safe distance from them, and make yourself and your happiness a priority.
4. Be the bigger person and forgive them. It’s easy to hate a toxic person for all the negativity and stress they create, but hating only leads to more of the same. Put the drama aside and let it rest by forgiving them and moving on. It’s the best thing you can do for both yourself and your family, so open your mind and heart to forgiveness.
5. Take time to focus on yourself. Family members are the most overbearing and emotionally draining type of toxic people to be around. They get in our heads and make us question our motives, feelings, reactions, and just about everything else that involves dealing with them. Don’t let yourself get too hung up on the situation or it’ll quickly burn you out. Instead, focus on yourself and take time out to rest and get away from it all. Stay positive, take care of yourself, and don’t give up!
6. Let go of them. When you’ve tried seemingly everything and still cannot free yourself from serious emotional turmoil and stress caused by a toxic family member, sometimes the best thing to do is walk away. All you can do is try to make the best of it and if that doesn’t work then you may need to go your own way. In the end, you know what’s best for you and no one should ever keep you from reaching it. Do you have a toxic family member? let us know in the comments
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6 Clear Signs You Shouldn’t Ever Let Your Partner Go. Don’t Ignore These Signs.
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Finding someone that you connect with on every level often takes time. As a popular saying goes “You have to date a lot of frogs before you finally meet your prince.” However, when you finally do come across that someone special you just know, feel, and can sense that they are the one for you.
Relationships, dating, falling in love, and everything else that comes along with it can be intense. While we all want the fairy tale, in reality no relationship is perfect. Oftentimes our love lives are filled with drama and confusion, yet we stick them out through the high points and the low ones.
We’ve all wondered at some point in time about whether or not the person we are with is the right one for us. Spotting the red flags is usually easy to do, but what about the signs and signals that tell us our partner is in fact a great match and we should stay with them? Below are a few of the top qualities that your significant other should exhibit and the main feelings they should bring out in you. If your partner does these six things, plus the ones covered in the accompanying video, then it’s best to not let them go!
1) They are always there when you need them the most:
Someone who is reliable and by your side no matter what is a keeper. We all need people who support us, but if a relationship is to last then your partner needs to be one of your main supporters. Knowing that they always have your back and will show up whenever you need them the most is something you should never take for granted or let go of.
2) They let you do your own thing:
Having someone who recognizes the need for freedom in a relationship is crucial if you want it to be long-lasting. When your partner lets you do your own thing without trying to somehow control or manipulate you, it means that they trust you and have confidence in what the two of you share. Rather than ending up jealous, hurt, or angry when you go out to meet up with friends or whatnot, they’re happy for you and don’t question your motives or whereabouts.
3) They share your sense of humor:
Having someone that cracks you up and makes you smile is always important to a healthy relationship. When your partner appreciates and understands your particular type of humor, and vice-versa, then you’ll always have a great time together. Laughter is what gets us through not only the easy, fun times, but also the tough, trying ones. So if they can always somehow manage to put a smile on your face, hold onto them.
4) They don’t try to rile you up:
When you’re with someone who knows everything about you, then they should always try to help you relax rather than ruffle your feathers even further if you become agitated. Having a partner who is a positive, calming influence in your life will help make tense or hurtful situations go a lot easier than not.
5) No matter what happens, they still love you in the end:
If your partner sticks with you through not only the best of times but also the worst, then they absolutely love you for exactly who you are. They won’t build you up into someone you are not or pretend that you’re flawless. Instead, they recognize and know who you are on the inside and love you for that. When you have a partner who loves you unconditionally, cherish them and don’t let them go!
6) They make you feel like you can accomplish your dreams:
If your partner always believes in you and encourages you to achieve your goals, no matter what happens in life or how far-fetched your dreams may be, then keep them! Someone who truly loves you will want only the best for you. They won’t stand in your way, be jealous, or go against you. Instead, they’ll help you out however and whenever they can and through it all they will never stop believing in you.
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6 Clear Signs The Man You Are With Is The Wrong Person For You.
Love and relationships are never quite as easy as anyone wishes them to be. While falling in love may sound so painless and effortless, it often turns out to be the opposite of that. It takes a lot of dating and intuition to know what you want, and the same goes for what you don’t want.
We’ve all dated people who were not any good for us, sometimes we even knew from the start that they weren’t the one, so why do we stick with someone regardless of that fact? For many of us it all boils down plain and simply to denial. We end up ignoring the warning signs and make excuses for our partner’s behavior, or whatever else it is that keeps us from fully loving them.
In a similar vein, we may also lie and tell ourselves that everything is great and that it will all work out in the end. We become so convinced that we write off the nagging feeling at the back of our mind that’s trying to tell us to get out of the relationship now and move on!
While men and women are both guilty of working up their partners into something they are not, it seems that women are the ones who ignore the obvious signs that their relationship is failing more than men do. Perhaps they get blinded by the allure or content the comfort that comes with being with someone and end up missing the warning signals the man is sending their way. When you finally take a moment to step back and evaluate both your feelings and your partner’s behaviors, that’s when you can truly realize whether or not he is in fact the one for you. However, there are some clear signs that show you he is not the one and they are covered below:
1. He Puts Himself First:
All of his needs, wants, desires, dreams, goals, his career, and just about everything else, comes first. If he’s always discounting your ideas and making important decisions without you, then he is in control and is not thinking about what is best for the both of you. When that happens, it’s as if only his future matters and it’s all about him. You may or may not fit into the long-term picture he has in mind, so why stick around to wait and find out?
2. There’s a Noticeable Lack of Two-Way Communication:
Men are not well known for being great communicators, and that’s fine. It’s when a guy shuts you down and completely tunes you out that speaks volumes about an impending breakdown in the relationship. The only way you can truly get to know someone or get over issues is by talking, listening, and explaining your respective sides. If you can’t talk open and honestly about the little things, how are you ever going to get past that and deal with the bigger, more meaningful stuff?
3. He Has Betrayed Your Trust:
Whether he has lied to you repeatedly in the past about important things or he cheated on you with another person, such behavior should never be taken lightly. It shows a total lack of respect and is completely unacceptable. When the trust between a couple is broken it takes a lot of hard work, dedication to the relationship, and commitment to truly get past it. If he has damaged the trust you have in him, then he’s probably not ready to share a life with you and it’s best to move on so that you can heal and find someone that is trustworthy.
4. He’s Immature:
If a guy acts like a child and throws tantrums, is overly selfish, becomes jealous when it’s completely uncalled for, these types of behaviors are major red flags. He’s proving himself to be immature and he still has a lot of emotional growing up to do. If you want to date and be with a man, don’t stay with someone who still acts like a boy.
5. He’s Always Unemotional:
Oftentimes men will initially put on a tough guy act whenever they meet someone new. They do this because they want to look strong and masculine, or sometimes it’s part of their nature. However, if the guy you’re with never eventually opens up or shows his emotions, then it will be impossible to ever connect with him on that deeper level. Being vulnerable and emotionally available is a cornerstone to any long-lasting relationship. If he cannot understand that being emotionally available is a vital part of love and commitment, it’s time to move on.
6. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Happy or Good:
If a guy is forever putting you down or judging you and the choices you make, it’s enough to make anyone feel miserable and negative about their own self worth. This type of behavior can quickly spiral out of control and become abusive and manipulative. When you no longer feel happy or respected because of his actions or words, you need to end things. He’s taking you for granted and doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.
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