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One of the best feelings in life comes with helping others out and making a positive impact on the people we love and care for. After all, who doesn’t want the best for their friends and family? However, when you start caring too much and cross the line between good intentions and people pleasing, it can end up taking a heavy toll on your own happiness.
While it’s often been said that kindness costs nothing, sadly that’s not the case. Many people find themselves being taken advantage of and exploited because they are too kind and care too much about others. That’s when they end end up paying the price and their kindness becomes both harmful and self-destructive.
To avoid being used and manipulated you need to first realize that you’re giving too much of yourself, whether it be time, money, or other resources, and that it’s a major problem. To help you self-evaluate, here are four common signs that indicate you care way too much and how to put an end to each of them:
1. You’re surrounded by attention seeking, overly needy people. When you look around at the people in your life and they’re all dependent on you in some sort of way, that’s a major red flag. It means you’re attracting these needy, desperate types of people because you put up with them in the first place! By feeding their egos and giving them attention, you’re really looking for something to be completed or a hole to be filled within your own self. When you give too much people will take it all and then ask for more, it will never be enough for them.
That’s why you need to set clear boundaries and stick with them firmly, never get pressured into doing things and be more assertive. Also, spend time alone and learn to love yourself. Only then will you be able to attract other kind, like-minded souls.
2. Your own needs come last. When you care too much, everyone else comes first. In the end, you are the one who ends up missing out on everything because you’re too busy pleasing others. When this happens over and over again, you’re bound to feel horrible and drained inside.
Instead of putting other people’s needs first, put your own needs and yourself first! It’s very simple and it doesn’t mean you’re a greedy or selfish person. The hardest part is breaking the habit and just doing it. In the end, you’ll feel better emotionally and mentally and you won’t get burned out.
3. You often get taken advantage of. When people see how much you care and what you’re willing to do to help someone, they will notice and expect the same. This can spiral quickly out of control and all of your kindness will be taken for granted and used up. People do not have a healthy respect for compassion, they see it as a weakness and a way to exploit others.
Instead of continually giving in time and time again, say no and stand up for yourself. If you notice people asking too much of you, turn them down and let them know that you feel they are taking advantage of you. That way they won’t keep trying to use you or expect anything more.
4. You try too hard to please others, leading to your own detriment. When all your time and energy goes towards helping out others and making sure they feel good or are all taken care of, you have no time for yourself. Not taking care of yourself can lead to feeling like you’re out of control and when that happens a breakdown, depression, and other health problems are not far off.
You can’t please everyone and nor should you try to. Make sure that you always take time for yourself and listen to what your body and mind are trying to tell you. No one is going to die or suffer if you put yourself first for once, so do it!
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