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When you enter into a marriage with someone, you expect them to be loyal, honest, and loving. Your partner should always have your best interests in mind going forward from that day on and support you through whatever comes your way. You should also know everything about them, what makes them who they are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. After all, the last thing anyone wants is a dark, untold secret rearing up out of seemingly nowhere and getting in the way of their happiness.
When a man named Jan from Belgium married his Indonesian wife Monica back in 1993, he thought he knew everything he needed to know about her. She had worked as a nanny for him prior to their marriage and had always come across as honest, open, and warm. His kids liked her, they viewed her more as a big sister, and for a while things were good.
The only problem the couple had run into was very early on in their marriage when Jan brought Monica to Belgium to live with him. Immigration authorities had expressed doubts at the time that her birth certificate and identity papers were authentic. After going through the courts they eventually relented and accepted the documentation, and Monica received a residence permit to live in Belgium.
Things began to change after Monica got a new job and started dressing more provocatively. She wore skin baring tops, short skirts, and tight, flashy clothes. Even though she and Jan had been married for the past two decades, she also started going out dancing at nightclubs and bars. Her behavior only escalated from there, Jan caught her chatting with different men on the internet and before long rumors about her cheating got back to him.
He also heard rumors that his wife of 20 years was actually born a man and had undergone a sex change. He couldn’t believe it but when his friend and own son told him they had heard this as well, he decided to confront his wife and ask her point blank. In the middle of a heated row over her infidelity, Monica ended up admitting to Jan that she was in fact born a male and had surgery to become female. When he asked why she never told him, she said she didn’t believe she had to tell him now that she was a woman, but Jan felt betrayed and lied to nonetheless.
While most people would assume one would be suspicious of their significant other being the opposite sex, Jan said there were no signs that would indicate Monica having once been a man. They had decided early on that they weren’t going to have children and she even bought sanitary products every month to make it look like she had her period. Even so, once the truth was revealed, there was no going back.
Jan ended up filing to have the marriage annulled and got a lawyer to help with his case. He now believes Monica used fake papers to get her residence permit and even though they’re ending their marriage, the Belgian courts have forced him to allow her to stay in the house. The strain and pain from finding out that his wife of 20 years had lied to him about her true identity all along took its toll on Jan’s mental health. He’s in therapy to help deal with and accept the situation, but only time will help fade the hurt he feels from being betrayed by the one person he thought he loved the most.
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